Monday, March 20, 2006

Now That's Showing Your Ass

Last month, while skiing in Colorado, we met some incredibly bright and interesting folks which was conducive to good conversation. And good conversation always includes interesting stories. Here is one I really enjoyed:

This particular story was told by Laura, a warm and genuine southern woman in her late fifties.

Years ago, Laura was skiing with a group led by a ski instructor. Her group included a woman who was significantly older than the rest, but was trying to keep up with the younger, more agile skiers.

After several days of ski instruction, the instructor decided the group was ready for the top of the mountain. After successfully negotiating the ride off the lift, the group gathered together before they tackled the mountain. The older woman, pulled the instructor aside and asked how long before they reached the bottom. Forty five minutes, he told her. She wouldn't last, she told him. She needed to use the facilities. He directed her to the trees between the slopes, and the rest of the group waited patiently. After a few moments, there was an audible yelp from the trees. Everyone looked up to see the woman, skiing backwards, with her ski pants bunched up around her ankles, her buttocks exposed to the elements and the entire skiing population within eye shot.

Eventually she regained control and was able to cover her chapped assets but was, of course, tremendously embarrassed. So much so, that the next day she was too horrified to face the slopes and skiers again; she opted for a quiet day of anonymity by the lodge fire, hoping to forget the previous day's events. There was a young man relaxing by the fire too. He bore a fresh cast from an apparent ski accident. Curious she struck up a conversation with him. What happened to your leg?, she asked.

Much to her chagrin, he relayed the events of the previous day. It seems that he was having a fantastic time skiing when he looked up to see a woman skiing backward and half naked down the ski slope. He was so shocked that he lost his focus and balance and fell to break his leg.

I'm not sure if she remained anonymous but forgetting the show of assets was impossible.

5 comments:

Rio said...

sure beats any of my old ski stories

ash said...

hey, was that story about Edgy Mama on the slopes?

restless said...

Ash, are you calling Edgy old?

Edgy Mama said...

Of course, the mere glimpse of my bare buttocks could make men run into trees, drive into telephone poles, have testosterone-fuelled moments of thrill.

BTW, walker, this story sounds a bit urban mythy.

restless said...

Could be an urban myth but the story teller seemed pretty credible, even though i had just met her.