Crying Shame

Procrastinating...

The list is long but I have been sidetracked, which unfortunately is quite easy. This pic was taken by my friend's Dad, Henk. The WC doesn't miss a day playing baseball, even at the beach.

More VERY Cool Summer Pics

I didn't take them, though.

Humor

I received this over email this morning. Good for a chuckle. And mostly true.
The Husband Store:

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

1. You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the product increases as the shopper ascends the flights.

2. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 -
These men Have Jobs.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 –
These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 –
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 –
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it. Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 –
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and have a Strong Romantic Streak .

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 –

You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Cool Summer Pic

Not A Moment Too Soon

School started today and I was ready for the break. My boys and I had an amazing start to summer with a month long trip out West. But back home with all the summer funds having been siphoned out West, things got a little, shall we say, restless. In addition, my Sister-In-Law came for an unexpected five week stay at the same time our former exhange student came to visit for two weeks. Couple that with trying to help my deeply depressed Mother-In-Law, and my business, Get Your Move On, taking off - well its been a little chaotic. Oh, and I forgot about my gig as a volunteer chair for WNCAP's annual fall fundraiser, Raise Your Hand. I'm glad for a little solace, even if I spent it all working today. It feels good. Until the wild child gets suspended from school for losing control. Its bound to happen, its just a matter of time.

And another

Me: How many women with PMS does it to take to screw in a light bulb?

You: How many?

Me: 6

You: Why?

Me in my most irritated voice: It just does, OK?

Another Joke

Why do they call it PMS?



Because Mad Cow was already taken.

Golf Jokes

My Dad loves to tell jokes - anytime, anywhere, but especially on the golf course. Here is one that i really liked. I hope I don't mess it up.

A man is walking along a not-so-deserted Island when he comes across a Genie bottle and pops off the top. Out pops a Genie in a plum of smoke but instead of being grateful, the Genie barks, "Oh for goodness sake, you are the 11th person this month to come across me. I'm tired of granting wishes, so I'm only going to grant you one wish, so make it good."

The man thinks for a moment then says, "I would like a bridge built from the west coast of California all the way to Hawaii".

The Genie responded, "Man, do you realize how long that will take, how many resources that will require? Not to mention how difficult it would be to build the underwater infrastructure to support such a bridge? That's asking WAY too much. You need to come up with another wish, something less difficult."

So the man thought for a while and then he said, "I have been divorced twice and am currently single. I'd really like to understand women and be able to provide what they need."

Without hesitation the Genie said, "Do you want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

My Golfing Days

I spent last weekend visiting my parents in Fayetteville NC. My boys always enjoy catching up with their cousins, especially my wild child. Last year I committed to playing in a "Father-Son" Golf Tourney with my Dad. As I have said in the past, I really stink at golf but since I committed so early, I knew I would have plenty of opportunities to practice. That was the plan anyway. In the end, all I could manage was hitting the driving range twice last week. And I practiced putting once. Not nearly enough to be competitive, although I did hit a few good shots in the beginning of the tourney and one of the other players asked me if I had played for the local high school team. Ha! I begged his patience, and my game went south a couple of holes later. At one point, I reminded my clearly, frustrated father, "Remember this is for fun." "I am having fun, he huffed, not even trying to feign happiness. Together we shot a 99 in an alternate shot format. Not so great, but there were others in our flight who shot higher. Granted one of the players may have been a 5 year old, but still we weren't last. My Dad drove the golf cart at one speed - floored. Now, golf carts don't go that fast but, sweet Jesus, I had to hold on for dear life, as he hit every bump imaginable. It was definitely an adventure. We laughed about all our bad shots - but that wasn't until the next day.

I think my Dad wants me to play with him again next year, not because I'm any good, but because my 3 brothers are all playing with their sons now. Guess I'll have a year to get some practice in. Hmm, wonder if that will happen?